You just had a baby. You knew you were going to be tired. You knew you were going to learn new things.
You knew you would
be balancing your needs with your baby’s needs. You knew that no one could ever explain what it was going to be like, but that didn’t stop you from trying to find out.
Did you anticipate being lonely?
There is a weight that comes with this part of your life. Not just the weight of pregnancy and the weight of engorged breasts, and the weight of carrying a baby on your hip, or the weight of the amount of laundry that seems to breed when you aren’t looking.
There is a mental weight that aches to be acknowledged.
The mental strain can feel like a tightrope that is stretched between the isolation of getting to know your newborn and the community of other adults. There is joy, but there is also loss.
This dichotomy, this struggle – having a new life to nurture and protect, and losing the life and moments that led you here. Both can exist at the same time, in the same body, with the same heart.
Glennon Doyle says something that fits this moment so well. She says:
You know, what strikes me is how desperately we all need to know that we are seen and heard.
We don’t need our lives to be different, or easier, we just need someone to see the pain. To know what we’ve faced and overcome.
To say: Yes. I see this. This is real.
We don’t need a magician to take it all away – we just need a witness.
When you come home and you start the beginning of your tightrope act between isolation and community, know that even there, even in the in-between, you do not have to feel alone or feel forgotten. Beyond the help of skilled hands, and knowledgeable guidance, a postpartum doula is also a person who will see you. Everyday. As you are. Helping you see the beauty in both the ease and hardship of new motherhood.
You may be on the tightrope, but we are on it with you. Your doula is not someone who comes and fixes what feels broken. She is someone who comes and witnesses, helps, and eases. Your doula is one person who can seamlessly be in the isolation or the community with you.
Seeing you.
Seeing where you have been.
Hearing your stories.
Because ironically – when we are met where we are at, we start to feel safe and venture into the next unknown with courage.
Parenthood is not an exercise in being right – it is an exercise in being wrong and sometimes scared, but not letting fear of more mistakes keep us from loving anyway.
You are already an incredible parent. Well done, You.
Find out more about our Postpartum & Infant Care doula services here.